April 1, 2013 – STATEMENT FROM SUPREME COMMAND
Having foolishly wandered into the leaping flames of catastrophe, our arch nemesis and its parasite puppets have initiated The Great Apocalypse of Armageddon.
The situation on the Korean Peninsula has now been thrust into total all-out warfare.
Profound saints of the Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea, the time is upon us. We must sweep the whole earth of the wicked ones and prevail as unparalleled masters of the galaxy.
Every person, creature and element will behold the terrifying power of the Korean Peoples Army, forged in the stars by Fate itself, to crush the stupid and idiotic maggot-people once and for all.
The glorious winged-messiahs of the invincible Korean Peoples Air Force are also destined to destroy the abhorrent enemy scum’s Satanic sky planes so that the heavens may be cleansed forever.
They will bear witness to the indestructible and amazing Korean Peoples Navy, which is blessed by our Heavenly Leader. It will exterminate the seven seas of every enemy vessel, including even plastic buoys.
The whole world will watch helplessly as ninety billion artillery tubes open at once, like deafening roars of the greatest thunder, and rain death upon every target with 1000,000% accuracy.
Our Heavenly Leader will perform magic in honour of His triumphant victory which will be soaked in the tears, anguish and bodily fluids of our eternal nemesis.
If our repulsive enemy, in a bout of suicidal insanity, still wishes to challenge us with sticks and stones, we will pulverize them repeatedly with blows of thermonuclear agony until not a subatomic particle stirs in their hemisphere.